How to deal with a Jealous Co-worker

Are you one of those females who work tirelessly to accomplish your professional goals? Are you one of those who are polite, genuine, hard working yet disliked by a few of your colleagues from the same sex as yours?

Well, in case you are a beautiful (soul) who is friendly, wears a warm smile and is a feminine woman, you will have to bear envy and even jealous bitching & plotting by other women.

It exists and you can remain oblivious of the jealousy you infuse among other women (of course unknowingly), because these other women feel they lack something that you possess but their false pride does not allow them to accept this fact! Not all human beings are same, everyone is blessed with different skills, virtues & personalities but a jealous person does not understand this. They always seem to want the worst for others.

A study recently revealed that women in the workplace are weighed down by jealousy and envy when it comes to their rival's social skills. They cannot accept anyone being more popular than them but instead on working on improving their own social skills, they start conspiring against their rivals.

Many a times, happily married women hate a feminine woman who is single, and that too for no reason other than the fact that this woman has something that they feel is out of reach for them but they forget that probably this woman misses what they are blessed with!  

I have a friend who is single and whose married colleague would leave no chance to conspire against her. This woman indirectly told her that she loathed her single status (yet missed the independence she had in her single days).This woman would try to injure my friend’s confidence by finding imaginary faults with her work or by starting an argument over nothing & becoming insulting and forcing the other person to react. And when the other person reacted (a basic human tendency), she would smile and act like a victim. This woman was always full of praises for herself & would leave no stone unturned to brag about her achievements in her previous organization but there was nothing positive to share about the present because instead of working hard, she acted smart & wasted her time & energy in either gossiping, surfing the internet or plotting against my friend.

My friend had a hard time dealing with this woman as she was an insensitive loud-mouth. This woman ridiculed everything that my friend would do and later practice everything exactly the same later. She often bragged about how she disliked the duties assigned to my friend & later created a huge scene only because she was not assigned those duties by the management. My friend was so done with all this drama that she even started to think about leaving her job. But then she sought help of a common friend of ours who helped her sail through it smoothly.

I ask you, have you ever been jealous of someone that you work with? Don’t lie, a whole lot of people are -- and these feelings of jealousy have a different impact over women than on men.And these jealous women, in an attempt to "feel victorious" end up acting unprofessional & even mean. 

So what to do when you combat such an unpleasant experience at your workplace? I am sharing what my friend did:

1.    Never tell them they are jealous – Don’t be vocal about their problems, let them understand & deal with the issue. 

2.    Practice self-editing – Every time you interact with this person, be careful & specific. Be polite & professional. Do not bitch about them.

3.      Keep someone in loop -.Someone from the management or your immediate supervisor should know about the conversation you share with this jealous colleague.

4.    Find a supporter if you can-.You may already have a few friends in the form of a superior or an employee in another department, talk to them so that at least a few of your colleagues won’t  buy what the jealous co-worker is selling about you. 
5. Try to be in the shoes of the jealous co-worker – Try and think, what makes this person so jealous of you? If there has been something negative going on from your end (deliberately or unknowingly), immediately put a halt to it. Is there something you might have said, or done, to set this co-worker off? And how might you make amends if you would like to do so?

6.    Learn to laugh away the minor issues – Don’t let things get on your nerves. Ignore petty issues and smile through difficult times. Of course, this does not mean you should ignore unacceptable behaviour of others but learn to live your life. Don’t let a jealous Co-worker ruin your spirits. 

7.    Document it – If it is affecting your creativity & output, please take note of such incidents & talk to the management about it. 

8.    Don’t Change – If you know, you are right and a good soul, don’t let this workplace jealously to take a toll on your self esteem. Jealous colleagues can make you question yourself, underrate or undersell your skills and abilities, and make you debate in your own head whether you've truly earned all of your accomplishments. You don't need to start this debate with yourself; your co-workers are already happy to have it on your behalf. 

So, hold your head high, be kind to yourself, smile and learn to ignore jealous co-workers.

Have a good day!

_Aditi Jain “Adaa”